It was already passed 9 when I decided to start finishing my assignments. I was somewhat crammed over the paper works that has to be done but the following day 
promised something exciting for me. Yet I know, there’s no another day to finish everything up. I should be busy by then, but his texts washed away what I had planned for the night. And so there I was exchanging thoughts and listening to lover boy’s hilarious stories. As soon as it was over and the Sand Man did his work visiting me, there I was again trying to finish what I had planned for the night. I yawned and looked up the clock then mom’s presence startled me. I thought it was nothing but what came out of her mouth made me wonder what will happen next. It was all about my uncle, her older brother. He was hospitalized because of his heart problems; it seemed ordinary to me since he would visit the doctor a couple of times so we left it just that.
As I welcomed midnight, dad put me to sleep so I won’t get entangle with another problem at large, as I will be going back to Davao early in the morning tomorrow. So I gave myself some rest, expecting for everything to turn out just fine.
As time flew unnoticed, it was already 3 in the morning; mom’s tears came out of nowhere. And we we’re all bothered by the news sent through the text messages. News spread its wings and broke the silence of the night. My beloved uncle died of a heart attack. What came to be a peaceful day ahead was shattered with sounds of grief and agony and we were left reminiscing the old times he was there with us, especially my mom. It was tragic day for all. The day God opened his arms and embraced one of his sons back to his kingdom.
I then went back to sleep and thought about my uncle and then I thought about Christmas. How could a joyous celebration such as this be paired with such a heartache that could entirely ruin the merriest celebration of all time? I just then closed my eyes and hope that the family could get over this. We... could get over this.
Even when I was at school, all these things came over me. I watched the TV again, as though it can divert my attention away. But the news about Death’s works ke
ep popping up the screen, how his claws grabs everyone’s attention and yet made loved ones whimper for their losses. Yes, still remember the old times; I watch the same gory thing happen over and over again. But the sad part is why it could happen now. Why on Christmas? This is supposed to be the season of our Lord Jesus Christ. It’s sad, knowing you cannot be happy in this festive event. And why? Well, simply because this someone bade you their last goodbye. And it’s not the usual goodbye thing. It’s like the ever-permanent-goodbyes there could ever be. And what could be worse than experiencing the real thing right before your eyes? It’s not part of the television anymore, it was real.
The clock was still ticking and I woke up that very Christmas Eve in that freaking Funeral Homes. But as I was trying to wake myself up, I hesitated. Well, what can I do? I don’t have the guts to get up, nor to greet them the worn-out word, “Merry Christmas”. It doesn’t seem merry after all. But who can blame me right? I wasn’t feeling that all happy even just pretending to be. So I just wished myself a merry Christmas as I cried myself to sleep. Hoping this nightmare will finally be over soon.
And another thing, well, whoever said that whatever food you may have in the table, as long as you have the family together, it would be the nicest Christmas there could ever be. Well, what do you know, because of the death of a love one, the family did get together that Christmas, and I mean the whole clan. It was like reunion time once again, but only the saddest. We were there not because to enjoy the yuletide season with the family and the relatives, but because of that certain loved one who is lying in that filthy old coffin, cold and corpse.
It was on the 26th, that gloomy day everyone is afraid of from coming. It was 11AM when the mass started. But when you realize the mass was nearly over, I felt a 
sudden, cold in my spine. This is it. Our last physical goodbye to our beloved, I know I hate crying in public but I just can’t seem to force myself from hiding the pain within. Losing a loved one is painful, very excruciating, I know. But why now? I’m supposed to be partying right now, or be somewhere else merry and lively.
And then it came over me. Christmas is really not just about happiness, and merriment. It is also about acceptance and hope. Acceptance for my uncle, that we came from ashes and to ashes we shall return. Acceptance for us, his family, that soon enough, he will be joining our Almighty God in Heaven. I’m sure God has the best plan in the world, and whatever it is, it’s all worth it. And we must be happy for him wherever he is now.
And yes, the other meaning of Christmas; It’s about HOPE. We are so caught up with our dream or our nightmares that we weren’t even thinking about waking up. We must not let this ruin everything. That whatever pain there is that might come our way, we must accept it. And remember that on Christmas, it’s the birth of our Savior. We must believe that He is our last Hope, our only hope. Believe, that before long, the clouds will break and someday soon you’ll see the sun; a new day, the day you’ll have the ever happiness and contentment you always wanted. Just always believe and remember that this is only a nightmare, a worst Christmas nightmare. :(
